Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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