I heard we made out
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
