the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
