Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
