I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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