I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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