Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well I just put wine in my tea
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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