Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
