great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
