No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im holly from the hills drunk
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
