oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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