this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
