Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He kissed a someone with a penis
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
