Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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