What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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