Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
