Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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