Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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