Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
