talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
