Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
wakey wakey hands off snakey
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
