It's like God shit irony all over that family
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How external is "for external use only"?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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