did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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