I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I love having hate sex.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
