and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
