She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
