so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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