My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
