okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
3pm strippers are depressing
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
