Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
