I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
