im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
