i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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