Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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