belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
