put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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