glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
