I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So much rum. So many feels.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
