I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
