Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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