I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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