if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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