God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
