I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
