You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
