Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
