Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
