Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
