I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
