My brain says no but my pants say off.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
