i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
