Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
