Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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