You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize