i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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