trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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