Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize