I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize