You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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