Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
