Whod you bang
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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