Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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