dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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