So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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