They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
